That Special Someone
by Asura Sotosuri
Summary: **UPDATED AGAIN!!!** Squall is looking for 'that special someone.' And it ain't Rinoa. **YAOI**
1. Knowing and The Book

WARNING!!: This is, of course, a yaoi fanfic. Yaoi is Male/Male relationship. Yep, gay. Anyhoo, I just wanted to say that none of these people in this story belong to me, so don't sue. Got that all you wacky moneygrubbers? Enjoy.  
  
Pairing: Seifer x Squall, and a little Irvine x Zell  
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That Special Someone  
By Asura Sotosuri  
  
//Have you ever wondered if there was this one perfect person out there for you? Have you ever imagined how that person would look, or sound, or even. . . .feel? I know I have, but even when I imagined that person something was missing. I don't know what it was though. Some people spend their whole life searching for that person-- that special someone. I don't want to be one of those people talking loudly and getting really close to a stranger, so I search in silence. Oh and trust me, I've had my fair share of failures. I have had a few very important relationships fall apart for me.   
  
Take my relationship with Rinoa for instance.  
  
Oh sure, I loved her, but it wasn't the type of love I thought it was. She was the first person that I actually thought was my soul mate. Well, it all ended when we both came to realize that we only loved each other with a, so to say, a "brother and sister" relationship. Nothing sexual.  
  
Yes, ending in tragedy. Another one of my busted up love boats on the river of life.  
  
River. . .of life?! I think I've been hanging around Irvine to long.//  
  
_*Thinking*_  
  
//All right, so she's the only one that I can really think of that I have totally fallen head over heels for and it didn't work. Sue me.//   
  
_*Pause*_  
  
//Is it just me or have you ever noticed how people pick on the silent types? I'm silent for a reason damn it! It's not because I can't talk or because I don't have a damn funny bone in my body! It's because I don't desire to waste my breath on subjects that have no fucking relevance to life.   
  
And you have to admit, with the people I hang around with . . .they come up with some weird ass shit to talk about.//  
  
I sigh. //Ok, back to the subject at hand: love. It's a strong word. I mean, the word love should be used as much as the word hate because those two words alone are the strongest words in the universe and could do some major damage.  
  
I don't want to use that word--love--unless it's forever.//  
  
I roll over on my bed and stare at the off white wall. //Forever. . . .my gosh. . . .who would I want to spend forever with?//  
  
"--Seifer."  
  
//Seifer?! What the hell?!//  
  
"Hey Squall!!" A familiar high pitched voice called out from behind me.  
  
I roll over and sit up, reluctantly. "Huh?"  
"Hey, where did you go?" Selphie asks with a childish grin on her face.  
  
I stare blankly at her childish face and put off what was on my mind. "What do you want?"  
  
The brunette pulls out a book. "Like I was saying before, have you seen Seifer?"  
  
"No."   
  
"Oh, I thought maybe you might have."  
  
"Why would I have seen him?"  
  
"Because he told me he wanted to talk to you."  
  
Puzzled, I stare at her.   
  
"Anyway! If you see him will you give this to him?" She held the book out quickly to me. "Tell him that I sent it, ok?"  
  
Taking the book from her I lay it on the nightstand.   
  
"Arigato Squall!" She piped. "See ya!" She bounced out of my room, shutting the door with a 'thud'.  
  
I glance over at the book and pick it up, examining it. //What the hell is this?// I begin to read the cover. //Emotions- Reasons Explaining Human Behavior. Why does Seifer need a book like this?// I shrug at the idea and stand up, feeling that Seifer might need this. //If Selphie couldn't find him then he really must have gone into hiding.//   
  
I walk out of the room, holding the book firmly under my arm, not really wanting anyone to see it. I walk over to the elevator and pressed the up button, knowing Seifer is either in the training hall or--  
  
"Hey man!!!" An excited hand slaps me on my back from behind.  
  
"Holy shit!" I jump in surprise and spin around, dropping the book from under my arm.  
  
Zell leaps back and laughs, looking as though he was about to double over.  
  
I scowl at him. "That's so fucking not funny." I lean over and pick the book back up, putting it back where it was before I dropped it.  
  
Between giggled he manages to say, "I thought it was funny as hell."  
  
"Hell's not funny." I turn and walk into the elevator.  
  
"Huh? Whatever!" He walks off, probably to the library.  
  
I snort absently. //I don't see why he still even hangs around with that girl from the library if he is screwing around with Irvine. I don't think she's figured it out yet.//  
It's was almost a shock to me to find out that Irvine was fucking. . . .Zell. I mean, seriously. Every night. It's not really hard to notice in the morning when Zell walks. . .I chuckle. I don't think anyone really pays attention to the way Zell walks though. I doubt they know.  
  
The metal doors slid closed and I head to the second floor.   
  
The elevator stopped and I got out. I nearly groaned at the site I saw when I turned the corner, heading for the end of the hall. "Can't you guys do that somewhere else before some--"   
  
Right then I heard Quistis shriek. I turned around and saw her stalking over madly to Raijin and Fujin, who were of course making out right behind the plant. Pulling Raijin by his ear and Fujin in hot pursuit, she took them to her office, yelling at them about the Garden rules.  
  
Quistis had become the headmaster of Balamb Garden when I declined the job after the Sorceress episode. Since Quistis was such a 'sweet' and 'caring' person, she allowed Seifer back into Garden. He had just passed his SeeD exam about four weeks ago. But ever since then he's been really quite. . . .and distant.  
  
Instead of heading into the classroom, I walked over to the door that led outside. I headed up the steps and walked to the outer surface. I was quiet as to not let Seifer know I was here. I knew he would be out here, lost in his own conscience.  
  
I stepped over and stood beside him, staring at his profile. I don't think he knew I was there, if he did, he didn't let on. He just leaned against the rail and stared blankly at the near by ocean. I didn't want to disturb him. Instead, I just watched him, as the wind blew gently at his face. I don't recall a time, in the extent that I have known him, that I have never got this warm feeling all over me when I was around him. I kinda wanted to reach out and take him in my arms and never let him go.   
  
//What am I talking about? Me? Wanting Seifer?// Weird though. Maybe I always have wanted him. Maybe. . .maybe I love-- //No. No, not love.//  
  
I heard him sigh forlornly and that snapped me back to reality. He turned his head ever so slightly to me. I couldn't read on his face if he was mad or sad or. . . .anything.  
  
"What is it Squall?"   
  
I shifted on one foot and pulled the book out, holding it up.  
  
He turned in my direction and gazed at it.  
  
"Selphie told me to give this to you. She told me she couldn't find you."  
  
Seifer took the book from me. He ran his hand over the title and then flipped through the book. I was about to ask him what he wanted to talk to me about but didn't.  
  
When I was turning to leave I heard him speak lowly from behind me, no emotion in his voice what so ever. "And how did you know where to find me?"  
  
I opened the door and then glanced at him. "I'm the only one that always knows where you are." //In or out of your conscience.//  
  
I walked off, leaving Seifer behind me. I have to admit though, I left still curious as to what he wanted to talk to me about.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  



	2. Cafeteria

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
The supper bell rang at about 6:30 pm. Selphie had caught up with me as I was walking down the hall to the cafeteria.   
  
"Hey Squall." She said sweetly.  
  
I nodded to acknowledge her presents, in hello.   
  
"Did you give Seifer his book?"  
  
"Yes, I did." I answered.  
  
"Well? Did he talk to you about what he wanted to talk to you about?"  
  
I sigh. "No, he didn't." I didn't mind Selphie, actually I considered her a friend, but sometimes she's just too concerned about other people.  
  
"Squall, I'm worried about him." She said, her voice full of care.  
  
See? What did I tell you. "Selphie, he'll be fine, trust me."  
  
I heard her groan in worry as we entered the cafeteria. She spotted Seifer sitting alone in the corner the minute we entered the room. He was drinking a coke and eating his sandwich.  
  
"Let's go sit with Seifer!" Before I could get a protest, she grabbed my wrist and dragged me over to sit next to my rival. Of course she would sit across from him and I would be stuck sitting next to him.  
  
Seifer glanced up at Selphie and threw down his sandwich. "I suddenly lost my appetite."  
  
I chuckled when Selphie began to pout.  
  
"That was a nice hello!" She yelled.  
  
"Well, how was I suppose to say hello to you?"  
  
"'Hello' plain and simple would have been fine for us!"  
  
Seifer looked over at me and grinned. "Hello."   
  
Selphie rolled her eyes. "I meant at me too! Gah! I'm gonna go get my food. Squall, whatcha want?"  
  
Again, before a could speak she was already up. "Wait, nevermind. I already know."  
  
Now Seifer and I were alone. //What do I say now? Maybe he will start the conversation.// I looked over at the blond man and sighed. //Hell no. He'll just start a fight with some damn insult.//  
  
"Squall?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
He cleared his throat. "Have you checked the assignment board yet?"  
  
I shook my head. //What is he getting at?//  
  
"We're assigned together." He drank the rest of the coke and then threw it at Zell's head. I heard an "OWWW!" and then some swearing behind me. I rolled my eyes. Childish those two are. Always will be.  
  
"What do you mean? What assignment?" I questioned.  
  
"It says we are to go to Esther to help out with some type of monster invasion or some shit." He tossed me the envelope. "I thought you would have checked."  
  
I narrowed my eyes at him and then proceeded to open the envelope. Selphie came over holding a tray filled with plates. She handed me a ham and cheese sandwich and a bottle of water. She tosses Seifer another coke. Amazing what she knew about us.   
  
"What's that?" She asked through a mouth full of jelly donut.  
  
"It's a SeeD assignment." I said.   
  
"Oh." And she asked nothing more about it.  
  
The papers in the envelope said we were to leave in two days at 9:00 am in Balamb. //Woohoo, this will be fucking fun.// I so didn't want to go to Esthar. I didn't mind the job, but I did not want to see my father at the moment. I would have been totally thrilled to walk through an ice lake naked, rather then see my own dad.   
  
"Alright you two, I'll catch ya later." Seifer said and stood up. "Oh, and thanks for the book Selphie." He walked off, getting talked about and stared at as he went.   
  
Inside I was angry with those people that pointed and talked about him. They should just leave him alone....  
  
"I'll see ya Selphie. I'm going on to the training hall."  
  
"Ok Squall, bye-bye!"  
  
I got up and left for the training hall, not even eating my sandwich.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  



	3. Thinking Can Cause Accidents. . .

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
//Ok......an assignment with Seifer. That won't be so bad.// I dodge a monster's attack as I think. //Sure, ok, so what if I'm having feelings for him. Can they even be called that?// I slice through another Grat. //And why the fuck did Quistis even put us together?!?!?! Maybe she figured we'd get along or some shit.// I sigh. "Damn it."  
  
//Why do I continue to think of Seifer? Am I upset that we have a SeeD mission together? Is that it?// I walk around the training hall, not even worried about monster attacks, my mind is too pledged with confusion.  
  
//I know I'm not scared of him.// I laugh at that idea. //That is certainly not it.// I get attacked by two Grats but I finish them off with no trouble. I have been training for about an hour, but it didn't really seem that long. I had removed my jacket and shirt to give me more freedom to move as I please. Sweat was now falling down my face, but I still wasn't tired.  
  
//Maybe I'm afraid I might fall for him. . .Gah!! I'm a gay now?!?!?!?! Oh my gosh, as if my image wasn't fucked up enough.// It's not that I mind the thought of being yaoi, I just don't want it to hurt Seifer. //I can imagine it now. The minute anyone finds out about me liking Seifer, PLOP! Both of our lives will turn into a social hell. As if his life isn't painful enough. . .//   
  
Suddenly I hear a huge roar and look up to see that damn Tyrannosaur. //I hate that damn thing! Everytime I fight it and defeat it, it comes back stronger then ever, like Seifer. . .// I hold out the Lionheart and run up to it, slicing through it. I do this several times, but it was all in vein. Everytime he'd hit me with his tail I would fly off and hit the ground. I felt myself getting weaker and weaker.   
  
"Damn it." I stood up slowly from the last hit he gave me, holding my arm. I decided it was time to call Shiva.   
  
I did so. But that only proceeded to make the situation even more hard. That thing won't die! Attacked again by his massive tail, I was flung into a tree this time, I could feel my arm being ripped into by a branch. I fell out of the tree, knocking me unconscious. I don't remember anything else after that besides the burning pain in my arm.  
  
~  
  
I woke up slowly, feeling something cold press against my forehead. My arm felt like it was on fire. I felt someone next to me, pressing the cold cloth to my forehead. I shifted and sat up, looking at the person. It was--  
  
"Seifer?"  
  
He smiled forlornly at me from the chair he sat in beside my bed. "So, you finally woke up. That was quite a mess you got yourself into, dumb ass. What the hell were you thinking? T-Rexaur could have had you for his dinner." Seifer pushed me to lay me back down. I did so, not feeling like fussing with him.  
  
"Why would you care anyway if he had?" I said, not looking up at him.  
  
I heard him sigh deeply. "You just don't get it, do you? I could have left you there to bleed to death, but I didn't. I did NOT."  
  
I raised an eyebrow. //What the....what is he trying to say? I'm sure I seem pretty dense right now. He can't be hinting anything...// "So you saved me so you could have someone worth the competition to fight." I replied coldly.  
  
"Oh bull shit Squall." He spat out.   
  
He grabbed my chin and forced me to stare up at him. "You know good and well why I did what I did, don't fuck with me Leonhart."  
  
I blinked at him. //Does he mean what I think he means?// "I. . .I don't know what you are talking about." I lied.  
  
The intent look he was giving me made me shiver.   
  
"Yes you do." He repeated. Before I knew it he had closed the space between us and had his lips pressed against mine. I didn't know what to do really. It was like I expected it to happen but in a way it was like a far-fetched dream. I hesitated to responded, but it was over before I knew it.  
  
I stared up into his sea green eyes and for the first time I saw real emotion swirling in them. I saw his fear. He was afraid- no - terrified that I was going to reject him.  
  
I blinked again. "Seifer, you never told me you liked me."  
  
"I don't just like you Squall. I have never just liked you." He said, pulling away from me so I could sit up.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
He glanced over at the wall. "I love you Squall Leonhart. I always have, even when I scared your face."  
  
//Oh my gosh. I think I'm going to pass out.// "You--you love me?" I choked it out.  
  
"If you're disgusted by me you can kill me."  
  
"Kill you?!" I laughed. "You have to be kidding."  
  
He looked at me, seriousness written all over his features. "No, I'm dead serious. I don't think I could live with the thought that you find me disgusting, I already had to deal with harming your beautiful face..." He ran his finger lightly over my scar. "I didn't mean to."  
  
"I know you didn't." I loved the feeling of his gentle touch. "Seifer," I took his hand in mine, "I'm not disgusted by you. I think I care for you too much to even think that way about you." //And the secrets just falls out.//   
  
He grinned at me and kissed me again, this time a little more roughly. The kiss broke and he put his forehead to mine, staring into my eyes and trailing his fingers down my torso. "Ya know, I have been waiting for this moment my whole life, I always wondered what I would say, what you would do when I said it. You know how it feels to love someone so deeply, yet not be sure about it?"  
  
I smiled. "Yeah, I do."  
  
He kissed my cheek lightly, running his tongue along the side of my face. "I don't want to push you to do anything, you know that. So," He reached my lips and again ran his tongue along my bottom lip, then he pushed away, "I'm going to wait." He stood up and I could have sworn I whimpered.   
  
He leaned down and gave me one last kiss. "We have too much going on tomorrow anyway, getting ready for the mission. Well," he sighed, "Goodnight, my love. May your dreams be a lovely as you are."  
  
"Are you sure you're the Seifer Almasy I know? Or are you some really handsome and fine version of Irvine?" I teased.  
  
He chuckled and walked out, leaving me alone in the room. I almost went after him but I thought otherwise and went to sleep. I hoped my arm would be better before the mission.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  



	4. Change in the Mission

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"I ordered blue gloves! What the HELL kind of color is this?!?!?!"  
  
I shook my head at Zell as I walked out of my dorm room the next morning. He was standing in the hallway outside his room, a brown delivery box kicked across the hall and the dark pink colored gloves waving about in his hands.   
  
"There is no way in hell I'm wearing PINK gloves!"  
  
I almost chuckled had it not been for the fact I was Squall Leonhart. A few passing students stared at the raving SeeD member as he argued over the messed up order. I strolled past him, ignoring him as usual. But of course he wouldn't allow that.  
  
"Squall! Look!" He flung his new pink fighting gloves in my face, trying to show me the 'screw up' of the order. "They were SUPPOSED to be BLUE. Now what am I going to do?"  
  
I frowned at him. "Fuck Zell, just wear your old ones."  
"I can't. They broke yesterday in the Training Hall." He pouted.  
  
"Then I guess you're screwed." I replied uncaringly.  
  
"Man!"  
  
"Why don't you just drag your chicken-wuss ass out to Deling City like all the rest of us do and go fix your own damn fuck ups." Said a baritone voice behind me.  
  
I glanced next to me to see a smug Seifer chuckling.  
  
"Oh, that's nice. Thanks for your nice incite Seifer. I really need that." Zell grabbed his stuff and waltzed into his room, slamming the door.  
  
The blond whistled at Zell's attitude. "He sure is fired up today. Must've not gotten any last night."  
  
I rolled my eyes. "Keep to yourself Seifer. That is his business."  
  
Seifer wrapped his arms gingerly around my waist and started to nip at my ear. "Are you mad because you didn't get any last night either?" He breathed into my ear.  
  
The warm trail of kisses he was putting down my neck made me quiver. "You better let me go before--before someone comes along." I struggled with my words.  
  
He chuckled, letting hot air flow onto my neck. He released me and sighed. "I know, I know. This is our little secret."  
  
"Seifer..."   
  
"Hey, don't worry. It's ok. I understand where you're coming from." He forced a smile, but behind his eyes I saw sorrow.  
  
"I didn't mean it the way it came out, Seifer."  
  
He gave me a questioning look. "What other way did you mean it then?"  
  
I paused for a moment. "I don't want to hide what we-" I stopped, noticing Selphie peaking from behind Seifer.   
  
"What you two what?" She asked.  
  
Seifer jumped, having not realized she was there. He whirled around to face the smiling brunette. "Do you HAVE to ALWAYS sneak up on me?!"   
  
"Um.....yes." She grinned.  
  
Seifer was about to say something when an announcement came over the intercom. "WILL SQUALL LEONHART, SEIFER ALMASY, AND SELPHIE TILMITT PLEASE REPORT TO HEADMASTER TREPE'S OFFICE. I REPEAT, WILL....."  
  
Seifer smirked. "That's us men."  
  
"I'm not a man!" Selphie whined as we walked to the elevator.  
  
"Could have fooled me."   
  
I sighed in annoyance and lightly punched Seifer in the arm as we entered the elevator and Selphie pressed the button. Seifer surprised me by grabbing me and putting me in a headlock.   
  
"Gah! Seifer! Let me go!" I struggled to get out of his grip.  
  
Selphie laughed at us. I didn't know what was so damn funny!  
  
"Not until you say it!"  
  
"Say what?!" I complained, though not too much because I was right near his belt...  
  
"Say you love me!"  
  
I stopped thrashing about.   
  
"Wow, that was straightforward." Selphie said, trying to stop herself from falling over.  
  
"Say it Squall!" He shook me a bit.  
  
I dropped my arms and glanced up at Selphie.  
  
She raised her arms and waved her hands. "Hey, ya'll ain't hiding anything I don't already know."  
  
"Squall....." Seifer threatened.  
  
The door slid open and Seifer dragged me out in the headlock. Two other SeeD's looked at us.  
  
"Ok damn it! I love you Seifer!"   
  
He dropped me from the headlock and I gasped as I fell to my knees on the floor. He snickered. "I love you too Squall." He leant his hand down to help me up. I took it and glared evilly at him.  
  
"Don't you look at me that way Leonhart. I didn't make you say anything you didn't already know."  
  
Selphie shook her head at us, grinning like the Treasure Cat. The two SeeDs stared at us as we stood there, utter disgust written all over one of the faces.  
  
Seifer frowned at the man. "Do you have a problem?"   
  
The man shook his head arrogantly. "No, not one that I'm willing to tell a pixie like you."  
Quistis was walking out as the man said this. She strutted over to the man and spun him around to face her. "Where on earth do you get off saying stuff like that?"  
  
The man blinked in embarrassment. "I--I meant nothing of it ma'am."   
  
Seifer snorted at him.  
  
Quistis glanced at Seifer, who looked like he wanted to beat the man's face in. "I better not hear those type of words from you again or you will be demoted. Understood?"  
  
The man nodded vigorously. "Yes ma'am!"   
  
"Leave us." She told the two SeeDs. They saluted and ran off. She sighed heavily. It was obvious to everyone that she was tired. "I'm sorry about that. He had no right--"  
  
"It's ok Quisty, really. What have you called us here for?" Seifer replied, not wanting to explain the reason behind the homophobic SeeD's accusations  
  
She cleared her throat. "Do you boys remember the mission you were suppose to go on tomorrow?"  
  
"Yes." Seifer and I both replied in unison.  
  
"Do you remember why you had to go?" She asked.  
  
"Monster invasion?"   
  
"I forget that part of the mission. Your father," I groaned at the mention of my father, "has requested the presence of my best SeeDs to come and meet him in Esthar tomorrow."  
  
"What on earth for?" I inquired.  
  
She didn't answer.   
  
Selphie looked at her with concern. "Quistis?"  
  
"Balamb and Trabia Garden's finest are meeting tomorrow at Esthar to discuss the situation with Galbadia."  
  
"Galbadia? What....?"  
  
"Galbadia has been threatening Esthar of an invasion. They can somehow control the monsters. They have captured Dollet....again. We need to decide our course of action before someone gets hurt." Quistis handed out three folders to them each, then she swept off her blue business suit.  
  
"What does Galbadia want?"  
  
Quistis looked sadly at me. "Rinoa."  
  
Selphie gasped, Seifer's eyes widened, and I remained unemotionally changed.  
  
"Another Sorceress Campaign?" Seifer put in.  
  
"It would seem." The Headmaster crossed her arms.  
  
"Who are you sending to Esthar?" I asked, flipping through the files.  
  
"...I want all the ones that fought the Sorceress' before to come....Squall, Selphie, Zell, Seifer, and myself. I don't know about Irvine. I don't want him to be upset over Galbadia's rebellion."  
  
"He'll be fine." Selphie smiled.  
  
"Alright. And I'm sending Rinoa to hide on the White SeeD Ship until we have decided what to do. They just discovered how to become invisible, so, it should help." Quistis walked around nervously.  
  
I closed my file and glanced at Seifer. He caught my eye and I could tell he didn't want to do this. He turned from me and asked Quistis if we could leave now.   
  
"Yes, but tomorrow be up at 7:00 am. I want to brief everyone, then we head to Esthar on private train. Dismissed."  
  
We left, but over the intercom we heard Quistis call for Irvine Kinneas and Zell Dincht. Selphie gave a vexed look as we entered the elevator again. The ride to the first floor was silent.  
  
"I'm going to the Quad to think. I'll see you guys later." She said as the door opened.  
  
Before she left, Seifer grabbed her arm. "Selph, about Squall and I--"  
  
"I know, I won't tell." She grinned and ran off.  
  
Seifer and I walked through the Garden to the Cafeteria. As we walked, I noticed how tense Seifer was. "Seifer, let's skip breakfast. I'll have it brought to us. You look like hell."   
  
He sighed in frustration as we headed to the Training Center instead.   
  
I gave him a concerned look and grasped his shoulder, spinning him around to look at me. "Seifer...what's wrong?"  
  
"I don't want to go on this mission."  
  
I was shocked. "What?"  
  
"You heard what this is about. It's about a SORCERESS."  
  
"It's about Galbadia."  
  
"And a sorceress!" He gazed at me, his eyes started to blaze with green fury.   
"Seifer, it won't happen again." I tried to reassure him that he won't be brainwashed again, though I wasn't to convinced myself.  
  
"How the hell do you know?!" He demanded. "What if it does?! What if I do get brainwashed and I have to fight against you?! What if I have to hurt you again...." He was breaking apart as we stood in the hall of the Training Center.  
  
"It won't. You won't allow it to happen!" I grabbed Seifer and hugged him tightly. "I won't allow it to happen."  
  
I could feel his body started to give off small tremors as he was on the brink of tears. I didn't want it to happen again, but I don't know what will happen.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  



	5. Thoughts of the Day

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
That day went by with much tension within my group of 'friends'. Everyone tried to hide their different emotions about the trip to Esthar but Zell in particular was failing miserably. He was EXTREMELY pissed that he wouldn't have time to go to Deling City to get his new gloves and he would have to wear the pink ones instead. Rinoa had been sent to the White SeeD Ship that afternoon and all of us spent our time training since we might have to go up against a sorceress....or the whole Galbadian Army. Seifer still was very unsure of himself and asked if he could sleep in my room that night. I said yes, of course. He kept talking about what if this or that happens and I had to keep on telling him everything would be fine. I lied through my damn teeth, I didn't know what would transpire in the days to come...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  



	6. Bad Morning Start

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
I woke up first the next morning, Seifer lay next to me with his arms around my waist and his head on my chest. I looked at the cloak. 6:03 am. I never could sleep when I had a mission coming up. I sigh softly and tried to wake Seifer.   
  
"Seifer, get up."  
  
He groaned and tighten his grip around my waist.  
  
I shook him delicately. "Seifer, get up." I repeated.  
  
I thought I heard him hiss at me and then he grabbed the covers the throw them over his head. The covers hit me lightly in the nose. He rolled off me and curled up in a ball next to me, the grey covers still covering his body like a cocoon.  
  
I scowled at him and threw the blankets off myself, getting out of bed. I was only clad in my black boxers. I yawned and tossed my messy hair. //I need to shower....// I walked past the bed and punched the grey cocoon huddled on my bed, getting an annoyed growl from it. I sneered silently and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door.  
  
~  
When I was done showering I walked out to discover that Seifer had gone. I didn't give it much thought since he had probably gone back to his room to get ready for today. I dropped the towel from around my waist and slipped into my black boxer-briefs since I wouldn't be wearing baggy clothing today. I put on my usual attire that EVERYONE knows me from. Yes, I do love those clothes.   
  
As I was buckling my last belt, a hard knock came from my door. I walked over and opened it up, only to reveal a egotistical looking Seifer standing behind it, Hyperion in his hand.   
  
"You're really a bastard when it comes to waking up in the morning, you know that?" He said teasingly.  
  
I shut the door in his face.  
  
I grabbed my leather jacket and was putting it on when he reopened the door and began to complain to me.  
  
"You are such a grouchy person this morning."  
  
I stared at him blankly, some water still dripping down my face from my still damp hair. "I'm not grouchy."  
  
"Then what are you?" He asked as he tossed his beloved gunblade onto his shoulder to rest.  
  
I grabbed Lionheart and started to walk out the door. "I'm just a little worried about today, ok?"  
  
He gave me a baffled look. "You? Worried?"   
  
"What? Am I not allowed to be worried?" We moved out of my room as we talked.  
  
"Well, yeah, you are. But what do you have to be worried about?"  
  
"You." Was my simple answer.  
  
He said nothing more as we walked down the hallway to the elevator. I checked my watch, which read 6:58. I momentary looked at the taller man next to me as we rode up to Quistis's office. I wondered what he was thinking, what he was feeling right now. I had a feeling like he was going to do something that would make him slip away from me...  
  
"Squall?"  
  
I snapped back to reality when I heard that calm baritone voice from Seifer. "Hmm?"  
  
"Get out of the elevator, doll." I could see the humored look plastered on his face.  
  
I snorted and got out, having not even realized it had stopped. Two SeeDs greeted us, one of which was the same SeeD that had called Seifer a pixie yesterday. I could tell Seifer was doing his best to ignore the man, but he sneer at Seifer as we walked past.  
  
"Hey fairy, why don't you take your queer ass and get the hell out of our clean Garden? We don't need trash like you around disturbing our reputation." The man said. He was about Seifer's height with high cheekbones and dark brown hair. His eyes were a little narrow and light brown. He wore the traditional SeeD uniform.  
  
Seifer spun around and before the man could blink, Seifer had Hyperion's tip lined at the base of his neck. The ex-Sorceress' Knight stared at the man with hatred as he prepared to sever the neck with any wrong move the guy made.  
  
"WHAT did you say? I don't think I heard you right. Would you mind repeating?" Seifer coolly countered.  
  
I just watched at what was going on. I didn't want to interfere. I think I would like to see what the man will say with a gunblade at his neck.  
  
"I--I said nothing. Please don't hurt me!" The rude SeeD gulped, sweat forming on his forehead.  
  
"What the hell is going on out here?!" Quistis ran up to Seifer's side, horror crossing her face. Irvine, Zell, and Selphie stared at them.   
  
"He insulted me again Quisty. I was just going to teach him a little lesson on how to treat a fellow SeeD member." Seifer gave a sinister smirk.  
  
"Seifer Almasy, let him go." Quistis commanded.  
  
Seifer reluctantly released the man from Hyperion's fury and backed off. The man sighed in relief.   
  
"Maybe that will teach you, you little fucker, not to mess with us queers again or next time you might not be so lucky. I just might paint this floor with your blood." Seifer turned and strolled off to the office in front of us.  
  
I grunted at the bastardly SeeD and followed Seifer. When I caught up to him in Quistis's office, he had already plopped down onto one of the couches in the room.  
  
I sat down next to him and looked over to see him leaning over, rubbing the bridge between his nose. We sat in silence, I didn't know what to say to him.   
  
He spoke first.  
  
"Squall, I don't know what came over me."  
  
I patted his shoulder. "It's ok. I know how you feel."  
  
He looked up at me and gave me a caring, genuine smile.  
  
The rest of our crew walked in and gathered into the rest of the chairs and couches scattered around the fairly large office. Quistis sat at he desk and gazed at Seifer.  
  
"I'm sorry about that AGAIN, Seifer. I sent him to the disciplinary room until I figured out what to do with him." She heaved a sigh.  
  
"Damn it! If only I was still on the Disciplinary Committee! He would have to do some major kiss ass to get away from me." Seifer placed his hands behind his head and leaned back.  
  
"I understand. But what you did back there was uncalled for. I'm letting you off this time because I need you to come to Esthar with us. Don't let it happen again."  
  
"Alright, can we please get down to business? I'm tired of just sittin' around here doing jack shit." Irvine said wearily from his set next to Zell on the couch.   
  
"Well that's what you get from coming here early Irvine." Selphie retorted. She sat in one of the two chairs in front of Quistis's desk.   
  
Everyone was wearing the normal mission outfits. Irvine in his cowboy get-up, Selphie in her blinding yellow jumper, Quistis in her woven pink skirt, Zell in his punk outfit with the pink gloves.   
  
"Here's the plan. We have 30 minutes to get to the private train headed for Esthar. Ragnarok is located outside of Esthar, so if we need to get a quick getaway we can. We didn't want to use that to get there because it would be too noticeable. We leave at 7:30 am on train in Balamb. We arrive at Esthar in an hour to so and the meeting will proceed in the basement of the Presidential Building. We want to make this as secret as possible. We move from there. Understood?" Quistis's form of explaining never changed.  
  
We all nodded and she stood up. "Everyone ready then?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Then let's go."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  



	7. Secret Meaning/The Meeting In Esthar

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
This sucked. This sucked MAJOR bad. I didn't want to see my father, I know that sounds horrible, but it's true. He will just try to bond with me. I didn't want to see Seifer so stressed. I didn't want to go on this mission.  
  
Period.  
  
But this is what being a SeeD is. Doing what you don't want to do just to make others happy.  
  
That is such a sad truth.  
  
Seifer stands by the window of the train, staring out it as the world whips by us. He looks so sad and lost.   
  
Suddenly an overwhelming sense of anxiety comes over me. I watched Seifer from where I sat in the tiny cabin and all of a sudden he started to fade...  
  
"Seifer!" I jumped up and ran to where he had been standing.  
  
Everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and stared at me.   
  
"Squall? What is it?"  
  
I blinked at Seifer. Placing my hands on his face I felt it to make sure he was really here.   
  
Warm.  
  
Soft.  
  
Real.  
  
He was there.  
  
He grabbed hold of my hands and held them while staring into my eyes. "Squall? What's wrong?"  
  
"I--" I didn't know how to explain to him what had happened. I could feel everyone's eyes drilling holes into me.   
  
I pulled away and turned my back towards him. "It was nothing."  
  
"I don't believe that."  
  
I was about to growl at him. I don't know what happened! How was I going to explain to him that I saw him disappear right in front of my eyes? How was I going TO say it? 'I saw you disappear and I freaked out?' No way.   
  
"....."  
  
He took hold of my shoulder firmly and turned me to face him. "Just tell me what happened."  
  
I lingered at the thought of telling him. //Might as well. He doesn't have to believe me.//   
  
"I saw you disappear."  
  
Gasps were heard from my friends as Seifer just stared in awe at me. "Are you serious?"  
  
"I didn't think you would believe me." I lowered my eyes to stare at my hands.  
  
"I believe you. I know you wouldn't have told me a false truth. It's just...." He hesitated.  
  
"Just what?"  
  
".....It scares me." He said in a small voice that could have been mistaken for a small child's rather then a man's.  
  
My eyes enlarged as a stood in front of the man I loved. Scared? I know it was most certainly an emotion that can be felt, but the look he was giving made me insecure.  
  
"Don't be. I doesn't mean anything. Just a figment of my imagination." I tried to reassure him.  
  
"You have an imagination?" Quistis mocked, her blue eyes peaking over her book.  
  
I glared icy blue needles at her. Everybody else chuckled.  
  
Seifer shook his head. "Squall, I'll be fine."   
  
I wanted to hug him. He looked so frail and innocent. I didn't want him to break on me. But someday everyone breaks.   
  
"Seifer...." I gave what I consider a sympathetic look.   
  
Unexpectedly I was hurled onto Seifer's chest as the train jolted to a stop. Zell was thrown onto the floor from the bottom bunk-bed that was on the train, Selphie flew off the top bunk of a bunk-bed, landing on top of Zell, Quistis was slid to the other side of her couch, and Irvine and his chair had flipped over.   
  
Seifer and I have been slung against the wall, unconsciously Seifer had wrapped his arms around me to protect me.  
  
"Fucking hell!" Zell yelled as he pushed Selphie off him and stood up, brushing himself off. "What on earth was that all about?!"  
  
Quistis glowered. "I don't know. But I wish they could have told us the train would be stopping soon."  
  
I stared up at Seifer when he loosened his grip on him. He smiled down to me and I think I blushed.  
  
Irvine rolled off the toppled chair and got up. "I think....I just got a great position idea.." He grinned at Zell and stretched his back out.  
  
Zell flushed bright red.  
  
Seifer leaned down and whispered into my ear, "Do I have to let you go?"  
  
I rolled my eyes at him. "Yes, I'm afraid so."  
  
"COME ON PEOPLE! Get a move on it! We're going to be LATE!!!!!!"   
  
I think Quistis was freaking out about the thought of tardiness. But this was an important meeting. Seifer let me go and we all walked off the train. Right outside the train station was a small building labeled "Garden Supplies". That was funny I thought. Inside on the floor was a trap door that lead down to a dark passage way. After what seemed like an eternity of walking we came upon a door at the end of the hall. It was a door that one would only imagine in a dungeon or a medieval castle.  
  
Quistis knocked about four knocks, paused, and then knocked two more. The door squeaked open and there gathered around a large table scattered with maps was Laguna, Ward, Kiros, and the headmaster of Trabia with three of his own SeeDs. They all looked the same age. The headmaster was a tall, regal gentleman wearing a blue business suit, no older then thirty with purple eyes and black hair. One of his SeeDs was a short, blond fellow with blue eyes that was rather built to be so little. Another was a medium height, short brown haired, green eyed girl. And the last man gave me the inward creeps. He was tall with dirty blond hair and bright brown eyes...but they almost looked dead. They all wore SeeD uniforms.  
  
"Welcome everyone." My father gave us a wide smile and introduced everyone to us. "This is Headmaster Devion Lemina, the new Commander of Trabia's SeeDs."  
  
Devion nodded to us. He pointed to the short SeeD by his side. "This is Migel Tsukio, this girl here is Treita Misona, and this man," he pointed to the creepy looking guy, "is Keshin Naiou."  
  
Quistis stepped forwarded and shook Devion's hand. "I am Quistis Trepe, Headmaster of Balamb." She turned to us. "And this is Irvine Kinneas, Zell Dincht, Squall Leonhart, Seifer Almasy, and Selphie Tilmitt here is one of your own."  
  
Selphie grinned. "I was trained in Trabia but transferred to Balamb for finals. But my pride still remains with Trabia."  
  
Devion smiled at Selphie. Then he directed his attention to Seifer. "Are you the Seifer Almasy that was the Sorceress' Knight?"  
  
Seifer concurred to the man. "Yes, I am he."  
  
"Um hmm..." He looked at me. "And you must be the famous Squall Leonhart we all hear so much about. The cold and callous soldier that defeated three Sorceress'"  
  
"......"  
  
"Yes, he is." Laguna smiled. "Now, can we get off the subject of my son and get down to business?"  
  
I winched at him calling me 'son'. Don't get my wrong, I do care for my father. I just not use to the idea yet that I have a family.  
  
"Son?" Devion questioned.  
  
"Yes. I'm his son. Now if you will....." I walked up to the table trying to get them to follow. I glanced up at Laguna who had a soft, smiling glow around him. I think he would have cried had we not been around so many people. I call him 'dad' every once and awhile, but it must have touched him deeply for me to say I'm him son.  
  
Everyone crowded around the table. Laguna pointed to the rocks and ridges surrounding Esthar. "Two Galbadian forces are hiding behind these two ridges. They have been there since two days ago. We have received several messages from them since then, threatening to invade if we don't give them information on where Rinoa Heartilly is." He handed over the messages.  
  
"But we have done nothing to indulge them. We haven't sent word to them of anything." Kiro said from Laguna's right.  
  
Keshin spoke up next. "Where is Miss. Heartilly anyway?"  
  
His voice was not very deep, but had a demanding tone.  
  
"We have-" Quistis began but I cut her off.  
  
"We have sent her somewhere safe. We will not reveal where."   
  
Quistis turned to me and I gave her a look that was saying 'I'll tell you later.'  
  
"So are we gonna fight 'um or not?" Zell asked.  
  
"Maybe. We are planning this. We want to send three people to Galbadia Garden to sneak about and find out what they are planning to do, as well as any files they find. Then we want three other people to scout around and map the locations of the forces they have hidden. And the last team we want to....." Laguna delayed.  
  
"To what?" Migel asked.  
  
"We want them to go to space a capture a satellite that we have traced that is probably controlling the monsters"  
  
"That's a pretty big mission, dad." I said.  
  
He sighed. "I know. But this is the only thing that we could figure that might have a chance to succeed."  
  
"Then it's settled." Tretia replied.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  



	8. My Part of the Plan

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Here was the plan. The Trabia SeeD were to scout the area. Irvine, Quistis, and Selphie were to sneak into Galbadia, and I, Seifer, and Zell had to go to space.  
  
Again.  
  
I'd rather be on the ground, but Quistis insisted that I go to space since I was one of the top electronic masters in the Garden.  
  
Damn my teachers.  
  
Damn my smarts.  
  
Damn my talent.  
  
Irvine was from Galbadia Garden so they sent him there since he knew his way around. Selphie was an expert on breaking in to things.  
  
And I mean anything.  
  
Quistis figured that part of the mission was more important then space.   
  
I knew she figured that. I don't think she trust me. I really don't. Not even after all I have done.   
  
I think she trust Seifer more.  
  
And the Trabia team, of course, we didn't like. Seifer considered them stuck up, Zell found them all ugly, Irvine didn't even think the girl was cute, I didn't reply, Quistis didn't say anything either, and Selphie said that Trabia must have changed.   
  
We didn't send them to scout because we didn't like them.  
  
We sent them to scout because they knew the area.  
  
.....I want to stay on the ground.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  



	9. Going to Space

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Space.  
  
Space was like hell to me.   
  
I really hate space, I do. It's so dark. . .and big. . .and. . . .it reminds me of Rinoa.  
  
I sigh deeply as the medical crew in Esthar put the three of us in 'cold sleep'.   
  
. . . .And then the dreams and floating thoughts start.  
  
I don't know why they call in 'cold sleep' because it doesn't knock you out cold. You just think about stuff like old memories or cleaning your room. You might have a dream. I didn't have one last time, so I doubt I'll have one now.  
  
I bet Zell will dream.   
  
Heh. Zell.   
  
He was having a fucking fit when they were putting the case over him to put him into 'cold sleep'. It scared him really. He can't stand not knowing what is going on. He liked to be right in the middle of everything.  
  
That's Zell for ya. Seifer kept telling him everything would be alright, but of course the blond punk wouldn't listen.  
  
How did Seifer know what 'cold sleep' was like?  
  
I'll ask him when we get into space.  
  
Oh yeah, let me tell you how we are going to capture the satellite and get on it. First we are going to land at a space station housing complex that Esthar has developed, then we hop onto a shuttle, find the satellite by radar, grab it and hop on.   
  
Sound simple?  
  
I only wish it were.  
  
I just hope the damn thing doesn't have any monsters on it, like the Propagators on the Ragnarok. That was one fucked up deal. Try finding them suckers on your own with Rinoa.  
  
I abruptly feel a jolt through my body and I become light-headed. I open my eyes and sit up. Coming out if this 'cold sleep' is different from the last one. You don't float around or anything, you're still laying in the pod you were in when you were shot into space, but the lid is opened and you are in a room that looks like a small storage room.   
  
I hop out of my pod and slowing walk over to Seifer's. His is in the middle and mines is to the right of his.   
  
The pods are on a convattor belt type of thing that leads of a huge, closed door. A tube is sticking into each of the pods from the top.   
  
Seifer is still asleep, his arms crossed over his chest, Hyperion strapped to his side.  
  
"I dun wanna do dat again..."   
  
I hear someone say sluggishly from the pod on the other side of Seifer.  
  
Zell sits up and rolls out of the pod, landing on the hard floor with a 'thud'. He crawls over to me on hands and knees, breathing rather erratically.  
  
"I...I hate you....Squall...." He says through gulps of air, then he reaches up and pulls himself up on Seifer's pod, hanging their like a discarded shirt on a chair.   
  
"Ah, you don't mean that Chicken-wuss."   
  
I look at Seifer who is now fully awake and pushing Zell off his pod.  
  
Zell gets up off the floor once more and glares at Seifer, taking deep breaths.   
  
"If you weren't so jumpy when they put you into 'cold sleep' you wouldn't have having such a hard time breathing. You should have relaxed." Seifer says and get out of his cream colored pod.  
  
"I don't like small spaces."   
  
Seifer looks at me. "You ok?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine."  
  
He smiles at me. "Ok."  
  
"Hello? What about me? Don't I get a 'how are you?' or 'would you like any help?' I am a person here too!" Zell yells from beside us.  
  
Seifer glances at him, his eyes glistening with humor. "What kind of person?"  
  
Zell tightens his fist and narrows his eyes.   
  
"Can we just please get this over with so we can get back to Earth?" I ask, not really feeling like seeing Zell get the shit kicked out of him by Seifer.  
  
"Wanna get back on the ground?" Seifer asks.  
  
"It ain't like you can't fuck in space." I heard Zell mumble.  
  
I roll my eyes at both of them and we walk over to the automatic doors, where outside we meet a man in a white lab coat.  
  
"Aa, welcome to Esthar Research and Housing Space Station. I hope everything if ok?"  
  
I nod, Seifer yeps, and Zell ask where the bathroom is because he thinks he needs to hurl.  
  
The man in the white lab coat laughs and says the bathroom is two doors to the left.  
  
Zell doesn't even nod, he just bolts to that direction.  
  
"I see Mr. Dincht is a little space sick. We'll wait for him to return then I'll explain everything in detail."  
  
"Um....what is your name?" Seifer asks.  
  
"Oh! Silly me! I totally forgot to say! I'm Dr. Kellemes. Please, call me Dr. K, I hate being formal."   
  
Dr. Kellemes looks like a man that would play Santa Clause at Christmas time, white beard and all. His cheeks are flushed red and his eyes are a deep brown. He has a shiny bold spot on the top of his head, white hair just surrounding the sides.  
  
Zell comes wobbling back to us, his complexion an light olive green color. He is holding his stomach and gulping.  
  
Dr. Kellemes raises his bushy eyebrows at Zell's appearance. "Maybe you all should get some rest first. That satellite isn't going anywhere. We'll have some bring the poor fellow some medicine."  
  
With that, he lead us to some dorms in the research area.  
  
Zell couldn't make it all the way, so Seifer gave him a piggy back ride.   
  
I almost laughed when he asked Zell if he needed one.   
  
"What? The dude is obviously not able to handle his weaknesses." Seifer grinned at me as Zell climbed onto his back.  
  
"I'll get you....for zat....when I get better." The smaller blond mumbled at Seifer as we walked down the corridor to the room.   
  
"And here we are. This room has three beds, so, get some rest and just come down to Lab 3. Sleep tight boys." Dr. Kellemes walked off.  
  
Seifer carried sick Zell into the room and I closed the door behind us. He laid Zell down on the bed right across from the bathroom, just in case he needed. The shorter boy fell asleep right away. Seifer then turned his attention to me.  
  
"We need to get some sleep. Come on." He put his hand out to me and led us to the bed closest to the door. There was a bed in between Zell's bed and ours.  
  
I lay with my back from Seifer and he snuggled against me from behind since the bed was rather small. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly. He leaned over, placed a soft kiss my cheek.  
  
"Sleep well." He whispered.  
  
I sighed in contempt. "How could I not?"  
  
I heard him chuckle faintly. "I'm glad."  
  
We said nothing more and feel asleep shortly after that.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
  



End file.
